In the middle of unable...

Trying to be strong, but it's not as easy as I think. Trying to be cheerful everyday, so that people won't know that I'm struggling inside. I'm doing my best, just like the Bible has said. But still, I feel so tired to continue. How can I move on with such problem? What I want to do now, is just stop and go to bed and pretend that I'm the only person in this world who trying to relax and imagine many things and dream about good things (of course this will not happen, with one 2 years old baby in your house, which very depend on you!).
I stand in my door right under my star fruit tree, my eyes are looking outside and starting to sing in my heart some songs that can encouragement my soul. And I begin to talk with God:
"Lord, I don't want this thing stop, because I know it will not happen. What I want from you now, is give me a new heart. A heart that can thankful for everything, a heart that helps me to have a positive perspective about life, a heart that never give up from challenge, a heart that make me closer everyday to you, a heart that can please Your heart as well... Thank you Lord"

Through It All...

Today I've been having a great day. Since early in the morning, my students (a whole 2nd year class) came and sang "Happy B'day" in front of my house. Surely, I was surprised though I was so happy and touched by their action. And other people continue to say the same words. I didn't celebrate my birthday this year. I only went with my husband and had lunch, not in a romantic restaurant, but in KFC!!! Amazing, wasn't?? I miss KFC for a very long time, therefore I chose it as a place to celebrate my birthday. At the same time, I've been thinking about my life. I realize that somehow God helps me to pass this year. Actually not only this year but every year in my life. I can through it that's only because of Him. Like what Darlene Zschech's song, Through It All:

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with your hands
And lead me in your righteousness
And I look to you and
And I wait on you...

Chorus:
I'll sing to you Lord a hymn of love
For your faithfulness to me
And Im carried in everlasting arms
Youll never let me go through it all

Hallelujah...

Hallelujah...

Hallelujah...

Hallelujah...

Thank you Lord, for being faithful in my entire life... Thank you for helping me in every circumstances that I might be failed if You're not with me... Thank you Lord

Forgiveness

As we know that children can forgive people easily. I can use Norman as an perfect example. He won't keep his angry less than 2 minutes, though he'll scream or throw something if I don't give what he wants. But after that... he's stop and continue to play, it seemed like nothing happened.
But how about us?? Forgiveness is easy to speak, to teach and to preach but actually it does really hard to do it. I've through this many many times in my life, and I know that it's not only me who's been struggled with this. I believe that many people have the same problems.
Tonight, while I'm trying to sleep, I remember how God has forgiven me again, again and again, for what I've done. Why does He forgive me?? I believe that God knows if forgiveness is a hard part for us to do it. If He does it that because He has a reason. In the Bible, He's explained this many times. Forgiveness is not an option, but we need it. I remember how struggled I was to forgive people that whether they did it intentionally or not. But after I forgave and passed it, now I know why God teaches us to forgive and why we have to forgive.

First of all, forgiveness is come from inside you, you are the one that can decide to take away or keep it away. Even though you ask pastors to pray for you, but you are the key.

Forgiveness is a way to except someone by the way he is. We can't expect people to being perfect. Each person has weaknesses and we have to deal with it.

Forgiveness is helping us to continue our life. May be you feel hurt, but such feeling will not make your life stopped. You still have to do your work or job or responsibilities and taking care of your family and friends.

Forgiveness can make your soul more healthy.

Forgiveness can train you to be a tough and strong person. You can face various people in the world and work anywhere because you are used to forgive.

Forgiveness helps you to have a lot of friends.

Forgiveness is training your trust to someone that might be isn't worthed to be trusted.

Forgiveness can color your life to become more beautiful then what you think.

And Most of All, you have to forgive because forgive and love are walking together like what Jesus has been done. He forgives us because He loves us. If you cannot forgive, maybe you need to ask God to give you more love than you have before.

Jesus Bless You...

Thankful

This morning I went to the church and have been blessed by both the song and the sermon. We sang a song about how God helps us in every single time in our life, and without Him we can do nothing.

I look at Your face and cry out,
My help is only from You
Hold my hand and never let me go
Because You are God my savior

This song reminds me personally that only God can help me in every circumstances of my life, whether I am happy, sad, rich, poor, healthy, sick, certain, doubtful, disappointed, etc. The sermon itself is about "Thankful". Both the song and the sermon are somehow connected. My heart was broken when we were singing this song. Through this songs it seems that God is talking to me, that actually I can't face this world or every day with my own strength. If I can stand right now, that's only because He is standing next to me and holding my hand. Every morning that He gives is because His mercy and grace to me. I can have a beautiful son and great husband also because His mercy and grace.
Therefore, I just wanna say to my beloved God: "Thank you so much for helping me every time I need. May be I can forget You because of my weaknesses, but I now that You will never forget me and You will still there wait and open Your arms to hold and hug me. You are the God that give me strength and wonderful life."

Jochebed

Do you know Moses? The great leader of Israel that led the Israelites out of Egypt? For sure, you know this man. His story with God is worthed to be recorded in the Bible. He was called as a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth (Numbers 12:3). I don't have to say more about Moses, you can see in the Bible his great story as a leader of Israelites. But do you know that long before he became a great leader, there was someone that played an important role behind his life. Have you ever heard about Jochebed? Her name is mentioned only twice in the Bible in a genealogy. You know, sometimes genealogy, for most of us is not really interesting or important. Therefore, Jochebed's name maybe is not as popular as Esther, Ruth, Sarah, Eve, etc. Jochebed is Moses' mother. She was the one who kept him alive and nurture him until he grew up as a toddler in the middle of tyranny. She was taking a big risk to deliver Moses and kept him until 3 months. However, she did her role as a mother. Maybe she was not popular but she had a very crucial role in Moses' life, long before he became a leader.

Same with us. Sometimes mother cannot be seen as an important person especially while she is cleaning, cooking, washing, shopping, feeding the baby, change a diaper, etc. One thing that you have to know that, through your life as a mother, you can create a leader, a hero, a history maker or someone that you even cannot imagine how great she or he will be. Therefore, JUST DO YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AS THE MOTHER. Be an example, a teacher, and someone that ready to give a hug, love and smile for your children.